Tuesday, November 14, 2006

get a jorb

I'm starting to think that I'm just not funny enough to have a job. Whenever I go into interviews everyone appears to be very chatty...and I just cannot believe that is in fact how they are all the time. Or maybe I'm wrong, they are...but I'm not and that's why I remain jobless.

So maybe next time I go in and they ask me
"Why should we hire you?"
instead of saying "because I'm _______ " (insert good thing)
I should say:
"Because, I'm awesome!" or "BECAUSE I ROCK EVERYONE'S FACES!"

and if they ask me:
"Why do you want to work here?"
I will say
"Because I want to put someone's calculator in jello like Jim did on The Office. HIGH FIVE!"

or maybe when they say I gave a good interview I can say:
"Thanks bitch" like Nicole Richie would. I'm so not over her yet.

Oh, or again, when they say I gave a good interview I'll say:
"Thanks for that, I hope you have a beautiful life because I know that there's no way in hell you're going to call me back" because that's what keeps happening.


Well, there's always prostitution.

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