Bodies

What would life be like if we didn't have bodies? If we were just floating orbs of personality...

I think that I neglect my soul. I get so wrapped up in the physical. My image, my desires, my pains. The moment my muscles start to ache I run for pain medication. The moment I feel the twinge of lust I have it taken care of. But what do I do when my heart aches and I feel like if one more damn thing happens I'm going to lose it?

Nothing.

I don't tell anyone, I don't even allow myself to think about it. I throw it down, I shove it down, I swallow it down until it feels like it's gone. But it's not. It's not gone...it's there stacking up. Piling one on top of another and I'm almost full.

I don't know how to purge.

What can I say? What can I do to clear my soul of all these toxins that I've been keeping in? Everyone says to talk about it but I can't. It makes me so uncomfortable to think that maybe people know that I have feelings.
Kind of like when I was in school and I didn't want my teachers to know I was smart because they'd never cut me any slack if they knew. I don't want to have to always be emotional. I don't want people to see me as "that girl with problems".

I want to be an orb. An orb of personality with no body.