Monday, December 11, 2006

Hi, my name is Meg and I'm a masochist *waves*

Last night was a good night.
I won't go into details because I don't know of anyone who would want to know the kind of details I usually have to give.

But it was good nonetheless.

I was finally able to admit something, to myself and to someone else (who is always open minded...thankfully)

I don't want the power that I think I want.
I just want to exist, live my life, be happy.
And sometimes...I crave that feeling of absolute helplessness that comes with being tied down, chained (literally in this case, but it applies in a figurative way as well).
There's just something about not being able to move that makes you face your situation from a new angle. When you can't run or hide and you know it's going to hurt like hell. When you face the pain and realize it's not going to kill you.

Such a feeling of pride when you make it through, still all in one piece.
And it stings.
But it's so good at the same time.
I just love it.


Such is life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy for you.